longing/yearning

Yearning. Let’s talk about what’s going on there. We all have things we yearn for. I have personally had a lot of things I’ve felt that nagging yearning to do over the years. Singing, painting, sailing, the list goes on. And yet. Can I sing? Nope. Sail? Nope. Do I even try? BIG NOPE. Well today I was in a meeting where Martha Beck spoke about what’s really going on when we yearn for something that could be hugely positive for us but we don’t take action. 

You might want to start a new business, audition for a role or apply for new job. Or maybe you just want to simply re-connect with someone from your past but are afraid of rejection so you never call, never try.

That yearning is evidence we are smacking up against a belief.

There is a limiting belief somewhere inside of us that says “Ooh better not do that, you might get hurt or embarrassed. What if you fail or get humiliated?! Better not risk it” So we don’t try. And we never learn to answer the call of that thing that’s pulling at us. 

The good news is that there are so many tools to help us work with limiting beliefs. I’m trained in ACT, The Work, IFS, T.E.D. and more.

 (I will link some good books below for fellow readers.)

 I personally ride for the importance of an embodied approach to any of these  - because the body, as the subconscious mind, is wildly capable of healing in ways we can’t really even always articulate with our conscious minds so I will always recommend including both the mind and the body when looking to really shift limitations. 

And by the way working with your fears in this way doesn’t just make you feel a little better, it targets and dismantles the old system that was running your life in the background. So now your capacity for facing possible failure is simply less intense or gone and suddenly doing the things you yearn to do becomes less scary.

Because the real truth is that you might fail. Or be embarrassed. (Like I certainly would be if I tried to sing! ;) But hey, I’ve failed before and I’m still here and I feel a little embarrassed most of the time if I’m honest. So today I did the work on some lingering beliefs and afterward immediately reached out to a potential new friend for sailing lessons and I am off to a painting class - I’m excited to see where it leads me.

So if there’s something you feel would be a positive addition to your life or some good you long to do but you Just- Don’t- Do- It ?

That’s a signal and a map to where we need to focus our curiosity and care. 

So, what are you yearning to do?

Personality Isn’t Permanent By Benjamin Hardy

No Bad Parts by Richard C. Schwartz

The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck